Siri goes Italian
This morning my brother John was talking to his phone. “Siri, I need the number for Monroe Muffler” Siri answered, “looking for the number for Monroe Mortuary” John asked again, “Siri, I need the number for Monroe Muffler” Siri answered, “looking for the number for Money Muffins” John asked again, “you %^&^%^* Siri give me the &*@#*& Number for &^!@#$ Monroe Muffler” I started to think what if Siri were Italian. What would it sound like.
Johnny “Hey Siri! I need the numba for Coppola’s”
Siri: “beep! Hey how ya doin?
Johnny: “I’m Beuuuutiful. I need the numba for Coppola’s”
Siri: “ beep! a fanabola (go to hell)! What do I look like a freekin phone book?”
Johnny: “Hey stunad (idiot), just give me the numba I need some manigott (manicotti)”
Siri: “beep! Their manigott (manicotti) is beuuuuutiful. Luigi makes a niiiice pasta fasul”
Johnny: “strunz (jerk).! Gimme the freekin…
Siri: “beep! After, have a little ganool (canolli) and a zutz (sip) of sambuc (liquer) wid some espress (espresso)
Johnny: “ffangul (curse)! Your pazo (crazy) . Gimme the freekin number! Now I gotta agita (upset stomach)”
Siri: “beep! Capidan (captain). Sorry Ima little calabrese (hard headed)”
Johnny: “Fuggedaboutit (don’t worry about it). You a little giacchierone (blabbermouth)
Siri: “Beep! Ima gonna get yu the numba. But yu gotta get me some galamad (calamari)
Johnny: “ Ok. Gimme the numba”
Siri: “beep!” too too niiine (229)
Siri: “beep! Don’t freekin rush me yu stunad (Idiot)
Johnny: “mannaggia dial (damn the devil)
Siri: “beep! Too too niiine. Niiine won won tree (229-9113)
And you thought your phone gave you trouble? Thank God for siri and enjoy this recipe for Calamari Fra Diavolo
Calamari Fra Diavolo
1 lb. squid cleaned and cut up
4 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive OIl
3 cloves garlic minced
4 tbsp. Fresh chopped parley
4 ounces Marsala Wine
1 pinch oregano
1 pinch pepper
1 pinch salt
1 32 oz. jar Coppola’s Fra Diavolo Sauce
1 lb. bow tie pasta
½ cup Water
¼ cup grated Pecorino Romano
In a large pot add your olive oil and garlic. Sautee on High heat until the garlic turns brown. Add parsley and spices and sautéed for one more minute. Add your calamari and Marsala wine and reduce to low heat. Let simmer for ½ hour stirring occasionally.
Add 32 oz. jar of Coppola’s Fra Diavolo Sauce and let simmer for 10 more minute
Add ½ cup of water and uncooked pasta and bring back to high heat. Let cook for 10 minutes or until pasta is tender.
Add grated cheese
Serve with crusty Italian Bread and a nice white wine.